photo taken by my husband at Logan Riverwalk ~ summer 2013 |
With even MORE good things ahead. I can just feel it! I know we've already had quite the list of really good things happening...like our darlinghappybeautiful daughter who is still nothing but pure joy (those of you who've ever met her know what I'm talking about...she definitely has that je ne sais quoi! ;)), perfect new home for us (thinking I'll finally post some pics of it late spring), and my husband's fantastic new job (he comes home EVERY day happy!)- but I feel other good things are emerging...like the further development of myself, which I'm trying to have separate from the development of our family. It's a tricky balance since motherhood is such an important and BIG part of me but sometimes I think about how eventually our children will grow up and I'll be needed less. Both are inevitable life events, but still uncharted and a bit scary. I think the best way for me to stay comfortable with life changes is to keep checking in with myself (I turn 33 this year!) to stay current on who I am and what my interests are.
About a month or so after each of my children have been born I usually do a little all-about-me shopping spree, but recently I decided it's been awhile (about 5 years) since I've addressed my make-up, hair products, and jeans. So, I took on those areas for improvements (I'll be sure to post about the winners and the losers!). It was a bit more time consuming than I would've liked (I used to be so in-the-know with all that stuff!) but all in all it went well and I came away with some good finds. ;) Now where was I? Oh yeah, I know it's a natural process to grow and mature and I'm not afraid of that....I am finding myself uncertain with the what-I-want-to-do-post-raising-kids part though.
The best way I can think to describe the range of what I've been feeling is like being out in the middle of the water...I'm far enough away from the safe shore to feel free but also far enough way to feel a bit vulnerable. The water is beautiful and calming, so I stay even though it's all encompassing. Then all the wading starts to feel a bit mundane so I switch up with some structured laps until I tire. I then start to feel out of it so I doggy paddle/lazy swim to catch up with something but I'm not sure of its immediate importance. That again makes me tired, so I find a raft to stop for a bit. While on the raft I begin to sense things around me that I didn't or couldn't notice with my mind so busy and am reminded how just stopping sometimes is really good. Once my re-charge is complete I take the plunge back in so that I can strongly and confidently swim back to my loves. As I swim, I find myself truly in the FLOW and thankful for the water's cleansing effect over my mind and body. I don't know exactly what lies ahead, but I know I'm still eager to ride that tide.
beautiful
vulnerable
all encompassing
out of it
tired
so busy
my loves
my loves
flow
thankful
ride that tide
I know I'm still speaking kindof vaguely here, but I guess what I'm describing is being more in touch with my ever-changing self while taking on the biggest job I've ever known = raising children. Call it coming out of the infant stage with our youngest (she's almost 7 months!), getting back into exercising and Yoga, or just feeling more settled in our new place and routines, but I'm now more aware of what I want and what I feel and how both of those powerful fields are choices either determined or directed by me. Through more connected wanting and feeling, I feel the ripple effect of it in all areas of my life which I'm finding pretty cool. Yep, I said it, I am feeling pretty cool again. And I'm a mom. And I'm over 30. Mini makeover + taking care of myself = success!
Speaking of cool - here's a pic of my first gallery wall. I know it's nothing too fancy, but I like that it just developed on its own through me just feeling where each picture should go, {which I should note is different than where I originally intended each of them to go}. I think about how I MADE the time for me to create this and how cool something can be when you just let it become whatever it's suppose to.
The above quote from this book {which I am currently reading} by Brene Brown. She is also the author of this one and this one which I've also placed on my reading list.
Here's a pic of a little slice of heaven that my family and I got to visit earlier this month with my side of the family. So fun. So relaxing. So picturesque. And that was a trip with kids! Seriously, both Bart and I felt like we both had a chance to enjoy being away with all the comforts of home (we stayed in a really cool 3-bedroom suite), while enjoying family, pretty snow capped mountains, swimming, and yummy food. ;)
This song ~ A Life's That Good by Lennon & Maisy
And last, my best advice for moms ~ regardless of what number of children you're on because I know after each child I've felt like a new mom!
Be willing to learn, and you will develop the skills that you need.
You matter.
Your work brings peace to your family and joy to others.
You are the creator of new solutions.
Never underestimate the value of a clean house = clean mind.
Be kind and honest to yourself.
Do things that bring out the best in you.
Take in the love as often possible.
-katesonlinespace-
-katesonlinespace-
Hope you all find ways to enjoy the good life in some way this weekend!
It's weird that you would post this because lately, I have felt the same! I am aware of my role as a mom but I am also becoming more aware of what ELSE I am. Wife. Sister. Blogger. Reader. Photographer. It's inspiring! And there is NO WAY that E is 7 months already!
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