Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Boy or Girl?

This is of course a popular topic during pregnancy, but it seems to be even more so with our second pregnancy than it was with our first! I think it could be because we already have a boy, so everybody thinks we must want our second to be a girl. But after having close to 7 months to really think about it, I am here to share that we will be completely thrilled either way. 

Completely thrilled because....

Both boys and girls are fun! Bart and I share in the belief not to over genderize (apparently I just made that word up!) our children. Meaning we don't think there's any need to detour our son from doing something like cooking just because he's a boy, or detour our daughter (if we have one) from playing sports just because she's a girl. Even though many may consider me a girly girl, my interest in things "girly" didn't come until much later in life. When I was a kid, I wanted to do everything my big bro. did even if that meant being the only girl on his T-ball team (thanks mom for making that happen!), or swimming topless (I didn't see why I had to wear a top when the boys didn't! I was also like 5.).

To us, there's nothing like hearing the doctor announce...."It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" on their birthday, at the same moment we experience meeting them for the first time. I'm a big time planner, but I believe certain things like this are worth waiting for, even if we're in the minority of parents who chose to do so. Actually, during this pregnancy I've been hearing a lot of comments from people saying they wish they would've waited to find out the gender of their baby/babies, and are planning to wait to find out for their second or third child.

Each baby is born with their own personality unique to them. We find it quite entertaining to see our son do things in just his special way. Like taking things apart and putting them back together, caring for people, being a little social butterfly, creating his own dance moves, and interacting with other children and animals. Regardless of what we have, it will still be interesting to see if he/she and Benjamin are at all alike!

Mother and son can have a special bond too. I know of the father & son and mother & daughter bond that people talk about, and I too find a lot of truth in that, but also want to remind people not to let the gender similarity overshadow the very special connection that can occur between a parent and a child. The connection my son and I have is so strong, so trusting, so fulfilling, so loving, and so NOT dependent on what his gender is! Yes, I do look forward to possibly sharing specific girl things with a daughter some day, but since my husband and I hope to have more children, I'm not looking at this child as our end-all or last chance for us to have a girl, but instead as our second opportunity to grow and develop another beautiful human being.

1 comment:

  1. I can see it either way, but I was so OCD about planning and I just couldn't fall in love with a gender neutral bedding for the nursery. Over-genderizing is definitely important, and something that we want to watch ourselves of as well. Great post.