We've had the pleasure of my mom coming to stay with us for a couple of days. Oh, how I welcome time with her and her time with our children. It's also so nice to have a break from the same-old, same-old even if it's just doing something small....one day we ordered lunch in, the next day we all went out for dinner, and the last day we just made and ate cookies (didn't mean for all of my examples to be food related...maybe a better way to phrase it is that having time with her feeds my soul. ;)).
Today started out like any other day but something told me to take it easy ~ I've found Wednesday's can be kinda like the straw that breaks a camel's back. Many times I start the week with a vengeance only to fizzle out by Wednesday...other times it can be the Day 3 of nothingtodo when we'll all be itching for something fun. After assessing these infamous Wednesday predicaments, I decided both scenarios could benefit from a scheduled sitter for a couple hours, and so far it's been a great way for me to re-charge mid-week and not be ready for Exhaustion Re-hab (is there such a thing?) by the weekend.
Speaking of the weekend- aren't weekends kinda weird after having kids? I remember how once Saturday and Sundays flowed together so nicely...OFF from work TWO DAYS in a ROW ~ what's not to love? Got stuff to do? Leave it to the weekend. Don't end up feeling like doing anything on Saturday? That's okay, leave it to Sunday. Don't feel like waking up right away? Go ahead, sleep awhile longer. There was a lax to the flow of daily stuff, an adequate amount of time to approach and do things at my leisure. Then kids come and weekends are so go-go-go but without the schedule and routine of the weekdays. So- now I find weekends weird because yes, my husband is home to help (he really is SO hands-on with everything!) but I know that he's in need of a break since he worked all week too, so it's kinda like both of us get about half-way into relaxing before one of us is needed in some way/how with some one/thing/place and then the cycle continues. I know we could always try to schedule a sitter on Saturdays too but we've done that before and it really seems so un-natural because then comes the worry about having or making plans which really seems to hinder the whole laissez faire glory that I used to love about the open and free flowing weekends. I'm not complaining ~ there are of course the adorable moments of the kids running into our bed in the morning, the fun events/outings that we get to do as a family, the priceless commentary and entertainment surrounding us at all times....it's just a lot different now to prioritize and care for the needs of everyone while still trying to carve out some down time for everyone.
Other new observations I've discovered post-kids....
How much I appreciate someone holding the door open for me. Elyse has gotten heavy to carry now in her carseat and I'm about at a 50% success rate with my boys listening to me in public (thankfully that stat has improved on the homefront). Oh yeah and funny side story- the other day both Bart and I went to the grocery store with our 3 kids. It doesn't take much for something to trigger one of the boys to start running....and they're off! And trust me, when they're off, I mean harder to chase down than a race horse at the Kentucky Derby. So, Bart goes one way, I grab the other who now is being subjected to grocery cart incarceration and a cute little old couple comes up to me and offers to push my cart. Yes, they meant like follow me around pushing my kids so that I could shop. I was both appreciative and embarrassed....all so normal these days. :O
How calm I can be when the stress level should be high. I remember really struggling with this about 2 yrs ago when I was first introduced to my boys getting hurt, the sight of blood on their pained little faces, the blame and guilt that would come over me as I reassessed my every move when the incident occurred. Now, I'm much easier on myself and I know the power and strength that comes with staying calm. And, the beautiful solution that liquid bandages provide and a sucker can bring.
How kids truly love just being. I've learned I don't need to pull out the razzle dazzles so much as I parent or play with our children. {If you'd like, read this short little article on what Janet Lansbury refers to as Respectful Parenting}. I've also found one of the great things about growing up in a full house is how golden undivided attention from either my husband or I can be. Really, I could be like, "I need to organize this cupboard" and one of my boys would be like "I want to help you Mommy!" Puzzles have been a fun one for us this past winter, putting numbered things in order, finding new books to read, and or course, ping pong. Nothing overly fancy, just quality.
How experienced I now am predicting moods, good time frames in the day, our flow. I love it when I'm successful at setting us up for success because it really helps with our family morale and my and my husband's general sanity. :) With just a few little twirks I've been working on, we seem to move and live together better....here's some of our latest family habits: compliment each other a lot, voice why we want or need something and if it can't be achieved right off, try approaching it with a compromise. Buddy up with a task- sometimes just having someone else there makes doing it so much better!, explain things with patience and understanding, take turns, and really feel with one another the good and the bad. And, play some ping pong. Really, it's a great stress reliever especially with some good music. ;)
I know none of these are revolutionary, but I like simple reminders like these, and like the above featured quote. I also recommend checking out a site I just discovered...(see button on the left on this blog) called Catholic Attachment Parenting Corner. I've found it to be a real treasure trove of good parenting/family advice and bits of wisdom whether you're Catholic or not.
It's not that I don't love the weekends, but I don't love them as much as I used to. For me, they are just another day with the same routines, same kids, and same husband that works pretty much every Saturday. I do treasure our Sundays, though!
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